The exact words
The scene
Early in Hamlet, Laertes, the son of the king’s adviser Polonius, is about to sail back to France. His father catches him at the door and delivers a stream of advice: keep your thoughts to yourself, be friendly but not vulgar, listen more than you speak, dress well but not flashily, “neither a borrower nor a lender be.” The list ends with its most famous line: “This above all: to thine own self be true; / And it must follow, as the night the day, / Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
Taken on its own, it is a beautiful sentence. The logic is that honesty starts inside. If you are honest with yourself about who you are and what you value, you will naturally be honest with other people, as surely as night follows day.
The irony
Shakespeare’s audience would have heard something extra. Polonius is a busybody who loves the sound of his own voice; later in the play he sends a servant to spy on Laertes in Paris and ends up stabbed to death while hiding behind a curtain to eavesdrop on Hamlet. In the theatre, his speech to Laertes is often played as comic, with his son trying and failing to get out the door.
That does not make the advice wrong. Part of Shakespeare’s genius is giving good lines to flawed people, and the line has outlived the joke. It is now a graduation favorite and is printed on the sobriety coins given in Alcoholics Anonymous.
How to use it
The line works best at moments of leaving: a graduation, a send-off, a child moving away. Saying that it comes from a father’s advice to his son as he leaves home is accurate and gives it warmth. In an essay about Hamlet, though, mention the irony, because a reader who knows the play will expect it.
What people get wrong
A deep statement of Shakespeare's own philosophy, spoken by a wise character.
Advice from Polonius, a pompous royal adviser who spies on his own son and dies hiding behind a curtain. The words are wise; the irony is in who says them.
Timeline
- c. 1600Shakespeare writes Hamlet, probably first staged at the Globe around 1600–1601.
- Act 1, Scene 3As Laertes leaves for France, his father Polonius gives him a long list of advice, ending with “to thine own self be true.”
- 1603The first printed version of Hamlet, the First Quarto, appears.
- 20th centuryThe line becomes a motto for graduations and self-help, and is printed on sobriety coins given in Alcoholics Anonymous.
Use it in a speech
Questions people ask
Who says “to thine own self be true”?
Polonius, the king's chief adviser, in Act 1, Scene 3 of Hamlet, as part of his farewell advice to his son Laertes.
What does “to thine own self be true” mean?
Be honest with yourself and stay true to your own values. Polonius adds that if you do, you will never be false to anyone else.
Is the line meant ironically?
Partly. Polonius is long-winded and manipulative, and the scene can be played for laughs. But the advice itself is sound, which is why it has outlived the joke.
Cite this quote
These cite the original source directly, so you can use them in an essay or paper. Always check your teacher's required style.